Comments on: Identity Politics

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 04:12:24 +0000

Note: I haven’t read the previous comments. Please forgive me if I come across as ignorant or redundant.

I think it’s somewhat unfair to avoid the term “bisexual” so studiously. I identify as bisexual (even though my attraction isn’t split 50/50), and it honestly hurts that people assume I must be a straight/lesbian person in denial, or that I have to call myself something else because it doesn’t come out even if you add up the men and women I’ve been attracted to. I can understand the desire to come up with a label that one feels accurately sums up one’s sexual orientation, but it’s beginning to feel that when people seek to specifically avoid being labeled as “bisexual,” it only makes it more difficult for the rest of us to be members of both the LGBT *and* straight communities.

Erika Moen Here:
That is wonderful that you have a label that you feel comfortable with! I feel most comfortable with the term “queer”. That is my personal preference and what feels right. What works for me has absolutely no importance in your life and identity and (this is not written with any sarcasm or snark) feeling hurt that I do not identify with the same label as you is a waste of your energy :) Be happy you have an identity title that fits you and respect that I have an identity title that fits me even if it is not that one you want me to have.

By: cello

cello — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 03:11:04 +0000

Erika is a genius.
Walrus is a genius.
I love you all.

By: Walrus

Walrus — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 17:49:20 +0000

I like the term heteroflexible, (or homoflexible, as the case may be) for those of us who are attracted to only a tiny portion of one of the genders. Calling yourself bi when you’re not definitely feels wierd

By: Crisjin

Crisjin — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 06:20:38 +0000

Also, to most of the responses about Bi’s having problems with society; welcome to the world, lol. Society wants us ALL to fit into neat little boxes, and when any of us don’t fit perfectly, it doesn’t know what to do with us. We’re guilty by association to some, we’re awesome to others, but what matters is how much we love ourselves; not arrogant Gaston loving, but honestly loving and respecting ourselves and trying not to focus (I can’t say not care because I know it still bothers me a bit) on what others think of what we are and what we do. Now I’m not Bisexual, but I have a lot of qualities from a lot of different “boxes” and due to that, I have a hard time fitting into society myself, and it sucks, but I also have some honest/true friends who I’ll keep forever :-)

People who try to “fit the mold” of society may be happier with the shallow parts, but most of them don’t have what those who only fit their own mold do.

By: Crisjin

Crisjin — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 06:14:11 +0000

To the comic – Damn. Straight. :-)

By: Rosanna

Rosanna — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:09:45 +0000

P.S. especially if those they won’t change are the same as mine, haha
And the reason I have never had sex is, because I haven’t met someone I feel comfortable enough to give myself completely to, just yet… And I was very, very insecure about myself and my body during puberty, so experimenting or curiosity just wasn’t a good enough reason ;)
And I think I might have found someone who is good for me, though I still have to ask him how he really feels about me.. I think he likes me too. Well, at least, I hope so!!

By: Rosanna

Rosanna — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:05:23 +0000

Please, Denette and Dominique I don’t think it’s a good idea to say Kitty is bad for stating his opinion… On the other hand I really don’t agree with bi-girls having it easy..
Honestly, I’ve only come out to three friends and, though I am pretty sure more people know about it, the whole reason I haven’t told any others is because a lot of people I know are one-minded about these things.. Whether it’s make-a-choice or that you’re promiscuous, in my case it’s both nonsense… I mean, how could I be a whore if I’ve never had sex and really only kissed two or three people…
On the other hand, I don’t think every dyke, gay-guy or straight person is scared of or ridiculing bisexuals.. It’s all just a bunch of prejudgments…
I like almost every kind of person and it honestly isn’t the parts that make me fall for someone.. I do say I like every kind of person, but I don’t date every kind of person, because not every kind of personality makes me feel comfortable while being around them or good about myself, you know ;)
The sort of people I love the most are those who aren’t too stuck up on their opinions but still have some opinions they won’t change for the world, yeah!!

By: Dennette

Dennette — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 04:36:54 +0000

Kitty’s way off on this one, ever since I came out as bi YEARS ago, I still get judgmental/insulting crap from people about my sexuality as a bisexual woman, from both hetero and homo sexual people.

By: Dominique

Dominique — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 02:15:52 +0000

Kitty, I disagree. As a bi girl, I get insulted with comments that we are either going through a “phase” just to appear hot to guys, or we’re just “greedy” animals. I actually haven’t heard this as much with bi guys.
Bisexuals have the trouble of being rejected by both sides of the spectrum– we’re not gay enough or we’re too gay to be straight.
Labels are just so frustrating.
I agree completely with Emily.

By: Emily

Emily — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:06:40 +0000

Female bisexuals have at least as much trouble in both queer and straight cultures. Among lesbians, there’s the impression that either they’re actually gay and just haven’t admitted it to themselves, or they’re only doing it to get attention from men. And both men and women tend to assume that all bi girls are swingers, or polyamorous, or other such nonsense. A huge portion of lesbians (and even other bisexuals!) are afraid or unwilling to date bisexual women because they’re convinced they’ll be jerked around or will ultimately be left for a man. And while men are often aroused by the *idea* of a bi girl, many men feel intimidated or emasculated by the reality.

That said, I’m not entirely sure why this discussion is taking place on this comic. I wouldn’t try to label either of the depicted women as bisexual — bisexual suggests an equal attraction to both sexes, which is clearly not the case here. Seems more like a demonstration of sexual fluidity (and there’s a great book by that name that can really help make sense of things). Labels rarely provide a complete picture, anyway.