My first thought was “Oh my gosh!” followed with “her too?!? Dermatil?” (my pet name for it. Don’t like the ‘mania’ bit). I was even told about the rubber band thing too. Only things that have helped mine: meds, reducing stress, shame, focusing on something else obsessively (like cross hatching gradients), getting rid of my tools or using crappier ones (I have to wait to ‘get it better’ with less precision) and love from my partner. We aren’t alone. It won’t always be like this either. Take care.
Reading some of the comments now…
I knit too. And I went on the pill for the reduced acne effect. Less stuff to pick. But then I went after my toe nails, but almost needing surgery on those and seeing the ‘after’ look helped that stop. I never thought I’d want to pick someone else… but now I have a hard time with my partner since I don’t want ‘them’ to bother him. And he’d rather let me do it to him then to myself. I’m just too ashamed to most often. But a massive one he can’t get? Total weakness to ‘help’, though it’s never just one. Bumps on the boobs? Yep. Massively worse now after years of messing with them? Yep. Thought about getting pierced just to try and hide them/ cover the cause? Yep. Never wear shorts or a skirt because of scars? Yep. When it got to the point where I was turning down some oral because of the fear and shame of those marks, I new I had to change to something else. Hiding the tools, not seeing them, not getting those lull moments of stressed limbo helps too.
I have the same condition. I’ve had it since I was 12, except my arms are the main area of choice (though I’ve been known to revert to face when I’ve massacred my arms). I’ve got so many scars from it, and I haven’t found a solution for it yet. I’ve been through all kids of similar compulsions: Chewing nails, tapping my collarbone (sometimes so hard in fact I’d leave bruises) and emotional eating. I’ve so far conquered the tapping of my collarbone and chewing of fingernails, so I do believe there is a solution to it, but I doubt it’s the same for everyone.
Moonie – what’s on your arms is likely keratosis pilaris – the hair follicles harden, and don’t shed skin cells like they should, so little bumps form. I’ve got it too, and I can’t leave them alone either. It’s so stressful to know that there’s something *in my skin* that shouldn’t be there, and so relieving to know that a simple squeeze can *get it out*.
It’s almost a weird hygiene thing, really – it’s like, I know that squeezing leaves terrible red, often bloody marks that then scab over. But just washing doesn’t *remove* the bumps, and if you had, let’s say, spaghetti sauce on your face, you wouldn’t just leave it alone, right? You’d remove it. It’s the same sort of thing with a nasty bump, or a juicy zit.
In fact, I often wonder if most of my facial ‘acne’ problem isn’t actually keratosis pilaris. I’ve gone on meds and creams and washes, and it’s helped enormously with the zits I used to get on and around my nose, but the stuff on my chin is still there, and I can’t leave it alone. And it doesn’t do squat for the KP on my arms, legs, torso – everywhere else. I get them on my hips and waist too, and when I squeeze the plug out, there’s often a teeny, skinny little crumpled hair that was obviously trapped in there.
I just wish that someone would find a cure for KP – the skin cells obviously aren’t shedding properly. If that could be fixed – there wouldn’t be anything to pick.
I have that too. I’ve had it since I was in grade school. My face, shoulders, chest and knees are nothing but scar tissue. I hate it. I’m afraid people wont like me, or be ashamed to be seen with me because of it.
OMG, I’ve never met anyone else who does this, and I’ve been at it since I was 12 /13. I only brought it up in therapy a few years ago because my wedding was looming and I didn’t want my pictures to be horrific. it was SUCH a relief to know I wasn’t the only one.)
(We met this past weekend at NEWW, and I was just getting caught up on your work. I was the woman who was out of cash and couldn’t pay for the squid picture. You felt guilty and it was really cute, and totally ok.)
I seem to pick at my neck/head joining area and along my collar bone, pretty much whenever I don’t have something occupying my mind/hands.. its kind of bothersome and makes my chest look like it has a rash. Its pretty hard to quit doing it..
I’ve been pulling out my eyelashes compulsively since grade 7 whenever i’m anxious (which is a lot!) But I’ve always managed to hide it well
Recently one of my friends learned about trichotrillomania in her psych class and she brings it up sometimes and then all my friends talk about how messed up they thinks anyone is to pull out their eyelashes.
It hurts because I’ve never told them I do it, and now I know I can’t.
Thanks for posting this comic, it means a lot to know I’m not the only one struggling
Thank you thank you thank you. I pick at my scalp and peel the skin off almost constantly for an hour or two at night, and intermittently throughout the day. It gives me really bad dandruff and horrid scabs and scars all over my head, that hurt like a motherfucker when I shower, but its so calming and NECESSARY. Augh I didn’t realize other people understood this compulsion
I pick at my lips and my eyelashes. I’m allergic to makeup because it makes my eyes itch and therefore more pick-able but I wear it because otherwise my eyes look weird with patchy eyelashes. Also it always looks like I’ve been punched in the mouth. :(
I wish I could get over this… I’ve gone cold turkey for months at a time, and never lost the need to do it. And then I’m stressed and willpower slips… sigh.
Apple vinegar. Stings like a bitch but it works. Also good for clearing nostrils.
My first thought was “Oh my gosh!” followed with “her too?!? Dermatil?” (my pet name for it. Don’t like the ‘mania’ bit). I was even told about the rubber band thing too. Only things that have helped mine: meds, reducing stress, shame, focusing on something else obsessively (like cross hatching gradients), getting rid of my tools or using crappier ones (I have to wait to ‘get it better’ with less precision) and love from my partner. We aren’t alone. It won’t always be like this either. Take care.
Reading some of the comments now…
I knit too. And I went on the pill for the reduced acne effect. Less stuff to pick. But then I went after my toe nails, but almost needing surgery on those and seeing the ‘after’ look helped that stop. I never thought I’d want to pick someone else… but now I have a hard time with my partner since I don’t want ‘them’ to bother him. And he’d rather let me do it to him then to myself. I’m just too ashamed to most often. But a massive one he can’t get? Total weakness to ‘help’, though it’s never just one. Bumps on the boobs? Yep. Massively worse now after years of messing with them? Yep. Thought about getting pierced just to try and hide them/ cover the cause? Yep. Never wear shorts or a skirt because of scars? Yep. When it got to the point where I was turning down some oral because of the fear and shame of those marks, I new I had to change to something else. Hiding the tools, not seeing them, not getting those lull moments of stressed limbo helps too.
OMG I thought I was the only one!
I have the same condition. I’ve had it since I was 12, except my arms are the main area of choice (though I’ve been known to revert to face when I’ve massacred my arms). I’ve got so many scars from it, and I haven’t found a solution for it yet. I’ve been through all kids of similar compulsions: Chewing nails, tapping my collarbone (sometimes so hard in fact I’d leave bruises) and emotional eating. I’ve so far conquered the tapping of my collarbone and chewing of fingernails, so I do believe there is a solution to it, but I doubt it’s the same for everyone.
Moonie – what’s on your arms is likely keratosis pilaris – the hair follicles harden, and don’t shed skin cells like they should, so little bumps form. I’ve got it too, and I can’t leave them alone either. It’s so stressful to know that there’s something *in my skin* that shouldn’t be there, and so relieving to know that a simple squeeze can *get it out*.
It’s almost a weird hygiene thing, really – it’s like, I know that squeezing leaves terrible red, often bloody marks that then scab over. But just washing doesn’t *remove* the bumps, and if you had, let’s say, spaghetti sauce on your face, you wouldn’t just leave it alone, right? You’d remove it. It’s the same sort of thing with a nasty bump, or a juicy zit.
In fact, I often wonder if most of my facial ‘acne’ problem isn’t actually keratosis pilaris. I’ve gone on meds and creams and washes, and it’s helped enormously with the zits I used to get on and around my nose, but the stuff on my chin is still there, and I can’t leave it alone. And it doesn’t do squat for the KP on my arms, legs, torso – everywhere else. I get them on my hips and waist too, and when I squeeze the plug out, there’s often a teeny, skinny little crumpled hair that was obviously trapped in there.
I just wish that someone would find a cure for KP – the skin cells obviously aren’t shedding properly. If that could be fixed – there wouldn’t be anything to pick.
This comic describes me exactly. Fucking exactly.
I have that too. I’ve had it since I was in grade school. My face, shoulders, chest and knees are nothing but scar tissue. I hate it. I’m afraid people wont like me, or be ashamed to be seen with me because of it.
My girlfriend has trich – it’s difficult but I try my best to support her :)
I’m glad you don’t feel as alone anymore.
Thank you so much for this.
If not for this, I would have never known that my desire to pull strands of hair is called trochotrillomania….
I do that too…
OMG, I’ve never met anyone else who does this, and I’ve been at it since I was 12 /13. I only brought it up in therapy a few years ago because my wedding was looming and I didn’t want my pictures to be horrific. it was SUCH a relief to know I wasn’t the only one.)
(We met this past weekend at NEWW, and I was just getting caught up on your work. I was the woman who was out of cash and couldn’t pay for the squid picture. You felt guilty and it was really cute, and totally ok.)
I seem to pick at my neck/head joining area and along my collar bone, pretty much whenever I don’t have something occupying my mind/hands.. its kind of bothersome and makes my chest look like it has a rash. Its pretty hard to quit doing it..
I’ve been pulling out my eyelashes compulsively since grade 7 whenever i’m anxious (which is a lot!) But I’ve always managed to hide it well
Recently one of my friends learned about trichotrillomania in her psych class and she brings it up sometimes and then all my friends talk about how messed up they thinks anyone is to pull out their eyelashes.
It hurts because I’ve never told them I do it, and now I know I can’t.
Thanks for posting this comic, it means a lot to know I’m not the only one struggling
Thank you thank you thank you. I pick at my scalp and peel the skin off almost constantly for an hour or two at night, and intermittently throughout the day. It gives me really bad dandruff and horrid scabs and scars all over my head, that hurt like a motherfucker when I shower, but its so calming and NECESSARY. Augh I didn’t realize other people understood this compulsion
I pick at my lips and my eyelashes. I’m allergic to makeup because it makes my eyes itch and therefore more pick-able but I wear it because otherwise my eyes look weird with patchy eyelashes. Also it always looks like I’ve been punched in the mouth. :(
I wish I could get over this… I’ve gone cold turkey for months at a time, and never lost the need to do it. And then I’m stressed and willpower slips… sigh.